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Bad, good and getting better

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Worst Case Scenario.”

Most of the time the worst thing that could happen to me is what I imagine would happen to me if I met so-and-so. I have a long list of s0- and – so’s to avoid so I live under a constant panic about how and whom to avoid. It has gotten to such a state that I have forgotten why I want to avoid certain so-and-sos but I’m conditioned to avoid them.

A long time ago, my husband was on my ” to avoid” list especially after he proposed to me when I was 19 and still in college. I was so embarrassed and constantly worried about how I might be his intern when I started my housemanship( he was a fellow then). I spent sleepless nights wondering how I might avoid catastrophe for everyone knew a smooth internship depended largely on the fellow you were posted with. Omigosh!

These days it is my previous workplace fellow mates- I constantly pray I don’t have to meet them at malls, or in public places I go to. Another time I was avoiding my boss.It seems my entire life is spent avoiding people or planning tactics about how to avoid people.

Bad day

Now for the best- as you can see, I always keep the best for the end.

My best would be if I got a job in a prestigious medical school near here ( so I could get out of administration) and work in my own speciality. The job would be highly paying and my colleagues would be congenial and very professional- even more ethical and principled than I am. I would be able to write a lot of papers and would become a speaker of repute. Above all, I would be a doctor again and be able to minister to people.

make-a-wish

But I am now employed in a university which is close to the place where I really want to work- so it looks like I am getting there- things could be worse.

If only wishes were horses——- !

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7 thoughts on “Bad, good and getting better

  1. eyes on the prize, susie. I’m not sure of avoidance issues; you probably have your reasons. I think you’re right to focus on your dream and now that your geographically close, you just have to do what is necessary to get the position you want. Hurray for you!

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    • Always trying to avoid people with whom I have had skirmishes in the past or with whom I have a history. But I am glad to share it with someone- this is the first time I have done it. If I come face to face with one of my so-and-sos I think I will die or I would rather die.

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  2. Hi Susie, your last paragraph reminded me of an old Bluegrass song, “If Wishes Were Horses.” The song says if wishes were horses I could fly. Flying would be great when we want to avoid meeting those we would rather not see. I think we all have people like this in our lives.

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  3. That would be truly magical ! When I was a child, I used to imagine becoming invisible or flying away, especially when I had to face awkward situations like facing the consequences of being naughty ( I can’t remember ever avoiding people as a child) but ever since I went to college, I am constantly preparing lists of people to avoid and thinking of how to avoid them.
    These days I am getting more courageous and sometimes think to myself, what is the worst that can happen if I meet them- they can’t eat me or kill me- at the most they may make a biting remark and I guess I can deal with that.
    There is an old saying ” If wishes were horses, beggars would ride”( I think its part of a nursery rhyme- seem to have some distant Mother Goose memory)
    Thanks for listening.

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