Day 30

Just 2 days to go and the Sugar Smart Diet for me – first phase should officially be over.

I am now 85 kgs light. I am energetic and a lot of my lost memory seems to have come back. There were times I went to the kitchen to get something and then my mind is a blank- I didn’t know what I was there for. I thought it is my excess use of computers that did this but it seems sugar had a hand too. At least I can remember why I went somewhere and what my intent was. I used to be afraid that I would be driving and would suddenly forget where I was going and for what.

One of the strays I look after outside and who used to be on my kitchen window sill come sun or rain, didn’t turn up yesterday morning. The serial killer poisoner of cats is in action these days and there have at least been 4 deaths that I know of. It is pathetic to see healthy cats lying stiff and cold. I searched for my stray as much as I could yesterday. I came back late from work yesterday, around 7 pm and went looking for him again. After a long search and helped by the other strays ( who now number only around 6), I saw him lying behind a water tank in a bed of sand and saying small “mews”. I called out his name -Gundu but he could not or would not get up. He did not seem to be salivating or hurt but he looked smaller than I remembered him. Glad that I found him, I went home to bring some food  but he refused to eat- this was a first for him- he never would say “no” to food. I left him alone for about an hour and then came back to look at him, when I saw him standing up near the sand pit. I called his name and asked him to follow me. Wanting to take him to our laundry room outside our house, where he could be warm, I led him on. He followed me for a bit and allowed me to carry me into the room and I put him on an old cushion there. He propped himself up happily. I left some cat biscuits on the floor and closed the door so other cats could not get in.

I checked on him at 3 am, when I usually get up to feed our indoor cat and he is just the same and lying there with no energy at all. I opened his mouth and fed him some of his favorite cat food and he swallowed a few bits. I am not sure he is poisoned but I am so grateful he is still with us and we found him. My husband thinks he has FIV but I think the cold weather and his being outside in it gave him a fever, maybe.

So my day was packed with all this and I forgot much about eating food though I am supposed to eat regular on this diet. Weight 85 kgs- so a 5 kg drop from start about 29 days back- which is 10  lbs which sounds a lot. I am able to walk a lot faster than I used to before.


Day 27

Starting yesterday, I could reintroduce sugar into my diet if I required it. This is a really kind diet- kind to the dieter. I had no desire to start sugar again, knowing how addicted I can get- once I start, it will move on to the second piece and the third and so on.

The diet advised that I try to start with a sweet treat that I used to love before I stopped eating sugar, all of 27 days ago.27- it sounds like a long time, almost 4  weeks. I can’t believe I did this. If I can do this then I can do anything. My daughter, who has problems with the regularity of her periods and has cysts in her ovary( not yet polycystic ovarian disease), and has been off wheat and sugar for about 2 months now, decided she wanted to go naughty yesterday and do some baking but with healthy ingredients. Of course, there had to be sugar. She found a recipe for a zucchini brownie. Instead of regular flour, she substituted millet flour and the zucchini must have played the part of eggs. Anyway, she came up with a beautiful brownie loaf, it it could be called that. So I took a small piece of that, just to keep to what the diet book told me to- reintroduce sugar into my life. And—

Nothing happened. I didn’t find it good or feel like eating another piece or want to go on eating or anything. I didn’t get a high or a low. I am still the same. I had lost my desire for sugar- it was just another thing in the world, not something to crave for. This is bliss. This is so what I wanted.

As to the weight, it still remains at 87kgs. Inches seem to be coming off my hands and body but not off the weighing machine. The diet ends on day 32. But of course, I can keep at it if I wish. And I wish to.

In celebration of being “overweight”

I crossed the overweight bridge, not a few days back. I crossed it backwards, meaning I went from obese to overweight.

I have never thought in my life, that I would ever be so jubilant at being overweight but I truly am. There is no greater feeling than being at the 29.— something, something value meaning you’ve officially reached the overweight extreme range and are just a few micro grams away from being obese.

But the real fact of the matter is that I am overweight and not obese, not now and probably not ever. I know the struggle, the tears, the prayers, the jolts, the ups and downs of this journey and battle of food vs body vs exercise vs stress. I am not sure how so many factors come to play in my life but they do. Everything turns to fat and weight gain in my body.

I have cried real tears, late into the night and suffered indignities like not being able to fit into my clothes ( small indignities) to being laughed at openly by my teacher ( in college, when he joked that I should not sit on a particular chair because it might collapse under me- this was when I was 95 kgs heavy). Other issues have been snoring, sugar cravings, possible fatty liver, varicose veins, pedal oedema, plantar fasciiitis. The worst is when you know you have avoided all “evil” food for like 12 years and have given up all the foods you have really enjoyed and still you gain and others lose. I have envied my husband who seems to eat all he likes ( chocolates, fruits, milk, cafe latte, cake, pastries, biscuits) but still manages to be losing weight and here I am on diets of quinoa, hemp, juices, veggies, fibres, no eggs/dairy, kefir and so on and apart from weight gain, there has been no change in my appearance.

But now, I am officially overweight. It seems like I have moved to the Liberal side from being Conservative. ( forgive the metaphor). I used to restrict everything and watch all I ate and still gain, until a month back when a visit to a bookshop to buy a book called the Step diet showed me another book  called the Sugar Crush diet and I bought that book. It has been a major change setter for me. I don’t crave sugar any more.

So “overweight” is good, when  compared to “obese”. It is a matter of looking at the glass- half full or half empty, isn’t it ?


Day 24

Going to the bathroom I found a trickle of blood, I thought it was my monthlies but about 10 minutes early. Note that as I am peri menopausal, these things come without notice and with no rhyme or rhythm. So I started using pads, only to find that there has been nothing more, overnight. I have concluded that it must have been ovulatory bleeding(mittelschmerz) or that I am having a pre-menstrual flow as a warning. My husband has been urging me to have a scan to see on progress of fibroids, such as they are.

It is surprising that at my age, a woman might ovulate. Anyway, surprises will never cease.

The diet is still going on and I am bloated, as might be expected with all the hormonal changes going on. I seem to be stuck at 87 kg.

Sugar cravings : nil. Breast size: come down 3 inches ( success).

Back side ( 2-3 inches off). Waist ( possibly 2 inches)

I love the recipes on this diet. They are all perfectly creatable and eatable and don’t need expensive ingredients. No chia, macha, or fancy stuff. Sometimes we use barley, quinoa and wheat berries( which I haven’t tried yet, not having any).