Accepting humiliations

I was reading about the recent wedding in California where a woman died after a tree fell on a wedding party. The woman who died was the mother of  the bride.

I have a relatively uneventful work situation these days. Except for the occasional contribution from the difficult co-worker of whom I have written in previous posts, life is quite passive here. I enjoy it for I don’t enjoy drama- perhaps there was a time when I would have but not now.

Yesterday I was called up Building Operations and asked to visit their office. Like a six year old girl, called to go to the Principal’s office, I waited with trepidation. On one side, I was thinking maybe they were calling me for a Christmas celebration and on the other side, I was thinking like that six- year old trapped inside a 47 year body.

At 2, I dutifully kept my appointment. I was asked to sit down and the woman there asked me to sit down. I was surprised when she closed the door, as though she wanted to discuss something confidential. I was even more surprised when she said, whatever we talk here will never go out of this room. And then she told me. The matter was embarrassing, so embarrassing that I can’t share it here. Suffice to say there was a complaint against me and I needed to pull my socks up or face retribution. My gut feeling was right- I was in trouble.

With a red face, I crept up to my office. I was red in the face and couldn’t face any one. I was thinking why me God ?

Then it struck me to say ” Thanks”. This is what I have been doing for about 3 months now. I say thanks God for anything and everything that happens in my life- good or bad, beneficial or non-beneficial. And it has helped me take a positive attitude to life and I know that God is in control. Also I don’t feel like taking refuge in food and again, I don’t need to carry my official baggage home as I would have done previously because my heavenly father and I know what has happened and that is enough.

Last night sleep eluded me as I was distressed but again I said Thank you God.

Now a day later, after analysis, I have come to the following conclusions .

1. I was getting complacent in my relationship with God and even though I said ” thanks” a lot, it wasn’t enough- my relationship was still superficial. So this incident made me rethink my bond with God and that I needed to really be in touch with the heavenly father rather than mouth a refrain of Thanks, when I felt like it.
2. And again, it made me think that perhaps I am getting complacent in another domain- getting too comfortable in my job- I have lost my ambition.  I think God was reminding me that I need to get back on my feet and start using my brains once again. My job is very mechanical and does not involve much use of my grey matter – perhaps I need to start looking at my talents and see if I am rotting inside and get that drive back into my life. Who knew ?
3. And as Danny of Dream big, Dream often wrote yesterday, I needed to take a break and learn to laugh at myself just like others might be doing. I am insignificant in the wider scheme of things.

How is all this connected to the wedding in California ? A good day, a wedding day, started off on a beautiful note but ended in a tragedy- who knew what course life was going to take that day. I started off yesterday as any routine day- happy, carefree and see how I ended it- heavy laden, embarrassed, worn with burden. Anything can happen to any body at any time. There is nothing that can prepare us for what will happen. Embarrassing moments come in the life of the most careful and carefree person but it is how we deal with it that ensures how we go forward in life.

Do you agree ?