Getting irritated when called ” fat”

susieshy45

I recently had a situation where someone in my family  took a look at my plate( in which I had served rice and curry for lunch), and said, ” So little rice- is that what you eat usually ? Surprising how you are fat with this amount of food.”

Have you ever faced a situation where a personal comment was made about your appearance ? To your face ?

It is happening with me quite frequently these days, especially after I let myself go after a few stressful situations in my life. I am on a ” don’t care” plateau now.

But the point is – would you make a comment like this about any one ? Their hair going grey, their teeth falling off, their weight gain, or their hair loss ? Or additional wrinkles on their faces or any thing else?

This person had made a similar comment about my weight gain many times in the past. I usually smiled it away. This time, I lost my cool. It makes me feel good that I responded in  an as yet unfamiliar way . I said,” I like being fat. Who makes these rules that everyone has to be thin to look good ? ”

The look on her face was a sight to behold.

 

35 thoughts on “Getting irritated when called ” fat””

  1. Ah I have a mother that frequently cuts me with that kind of barbed tongue. For here I know she doesn’t mean it as she sounds but it doesn’t stop it from smarting. Some people just have no filter between their brain and their mouth ><

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  2. What a shrew! That person was insufferably rude. I’m glad you had a good retort. A long time ago I had gone back to my home town to visit my parents. While shopping at the supermarket, one of my grade-school teachers greeted my mother. She turned to me and commented that I had gotten fat. For once in my life, a retort popped out of my mouth instantly. I said, “I’d rather be fat than rude.”

    How I wish her expression had changed, so that I knew the barb had hit home! She was too self-centered to take it in. I’m thrilled that your attacker heard what you said. That was great!

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    1. Thank you Anne. I am glad you were able to retort – there have been thousands of times, I wished I could have retorted something smart but my brain doesn’t work when I am being insulted.
      And she is a shrew. I was inspired to write this post when I read yesterday that we need to get toxic people out of our lives, – and how to get them not to affect you. ( people like colleagues, family, acquaintances and so on).
      Susie

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  5. Oh…people just don’t think before speaking and probably just don’t care until it is on them.
    My aunt lost a lot of weight at one time and wasn’t the happy person she had been.
    PS…I need to loose a few myself.

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  6. It was something unbelievably rude to say.Nobody has the right to judge like that,not even the ones closest to us.I got that from my mom…..many times(things like after 40 is not appropriate wear short skirt or bikini unless you are very slim and tonic…that I m not.Last summer I was waving at someone on the beach and she told that after a certain age it is good to wave with ur armpit closed so not to show ur saggy forearm😱so don’t worry about that person.)
    I like to dress well and have my make up on,not being a natural beauty and being a full size 14.i quitted my work when my second child was 1.One night at a party a mom from my kids school after enquiring what I did etc just spat on my that she will never understand women with third level education that quit all their ambitions to let their husbands career go up while they accept to became trophy wife and yummy mummy.See unfortunately the world is full of envy unsatisfied judgemental people who doesn’t connect their brain with their mouth.

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    1. Ortensia
      You have written so well and from your heart about various comments made by people at different times in your life. Its like the world has made certain narrow standards and everyone is supposed to fit that standard mould and anyone who is not is a “freak”. And these comments most of the time come from people who think they are perfecto.
      We need to form a group of people who don’t conform to any standard and are free.
      Susie

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  9. I love your retort Susie! Good for you. I think that sometimes family feels they can say what they want because we are supposed to love them anyway….unfortunately they fail to see that they are anything but loving when they cut family members down.

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    1. I think family is who needs to know us deep and know what hurts and what doesn’t and where our limits are. We can forgive the strangers or chance acquaintances who choose to be rude but it is difficult to forgive people who are supposedly close to you.
      Thanks, Faye. Are you back home, yet ?
      Susie

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      1. Yes we got back home a couple days ago. I am now fully back into canning produce as it kept ripening while we were gone.
        My husband doesn’t want me to blog about being gone while we are actually gone. We live in the country and it is better if everyone doesn’t know we aren’t home.

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  11. bethanyk says:

    I am so glad you said something back to her. I LOVE that you said something back to her. I find her comment incredibly rude, insensitive, and it angers me that she thinks this is ok!!!! How is that ok?
    In regards to my health, my family was relentless because at the time I was a vegetarian. They used to say when they saw me eat “if you’d only eat more……if you would just eat a hamburger” the best was “if you starting drinking scotch” yeah…that will help my muscle disease! A little scotch!!!!
    Since I cut my hair I have heard ” well I’d never do that but…..I like women with long hair but that looks good on you”
    Most comments about my hair have been incredibly complimentary.
    BUT why? Why is my hair or weight or the way I eat anyone’s business or why the need to comment at all?
    The world does not look at things like I do. When I see someone I don’t notice the external. I notice their emotions, how they make me feel, how they feel, etc.
    so I agree with you. That should not be the focus. I’m not ok with anyone thinking that it is.

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  12. I can’t believe someone said that to you. I would have loved to see her face too. But don’t give up. My grandfather who died before I was born, said, “Never give up.” During World War 1, he got frostbite on his feet. After treatment, he walked back to the front lines.

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  13. silencethecrowd says:

    Good for you. That is the height of ignorance. Society can often make people think we should all act eat and look the same way. What is the matter with being yourself! 🙂

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  14. This is mentioned in my blog about the word ‘Fat’ the fact that we use this as an insult on a day to day basis is diabolical. Our bodies do incredible things and we should celebrate this rather than the shapes and sizes we are and how people perceive us. Well done though girl!!!

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