For days, even weeks, I have been feeling tired. Extreme fatigue. I get to bed about 9 every evening, am not on electronic devices, there is nothing much worrying me- anyway nothing more than normal and I had no physical illness, that I knew of. The only thing I could find about myself was that I was not walking enough but I couldn’t find the energy to do it. January 13 was my TOEFL exam and after my GRE ( which I prepared for in 2 days), I had resolved to put in at least one month of study for this exam. Christmas came in between of course, but give and take a few days, I should have managed to put in a good amount of study time. No. It didn’t happen.

Most days, I dragged myself out of my sofa-bed and when I did, my eyes wouldn’t stay open. If I went back to bed, for a few more moments of shut-eye, I couldn’t get back to sleep and even if I did, I woke up same as before. There was nothing new in my diet except a Trader Joe’s Matcha Green tea that I drank every morning. All systems seemed working normally. I couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong or where it was going wrong.

I could study only on January 12- revise all the books I had borrowed with good resolutions more than a month back- the fatigue had driven me off my study time. I had almost no motivation and I knew I was not depressed.  The exam passed off well, by God’s grace.

Yesterday was the first working day after the exam. I resolved to do something about my illness if it could be called that. One of my other symptoms was the pain or feeling of pain behind my eyes. This suggested viral myalgia to me. Yesterday at work, it struck me that the extreme fatigue might be because of pregnancy. Could I get pregnant at 48 ? There have been stranger cases and I hadn’t had my monthlies for two months now, come to think of it. And husband had reminded me of this just the day before.

At work yesterday, I decided to do a pregnancy test. Luckily for me, there is a pharmacy at the Students center so, I managed to get a kit. I had had pregnancy tests done before but others used to do it for me. This was my first experience of doing it on my own. Good news, I am not pregnant. So that was ruled out. It must be menopause.

Second, I decided to start myself on an antibiotic and see if that helped. Three doses later, I am better. My fatigue has almost completely disappeared. I haven’t had a flu vaccine this year. Probably I am harboring some germ inside that is not manifesting itself in an extreme way but the fatigue.


God is present everywhere- Oliver Holden

Those who seek the throne of grace

Find that throne in every place;

If we live a life of prayer, 

God is present everywhere.
In our sickness and our health, 

In our want, or in our wealth, 

If we look to God in prayer, 

God is present everywhere.
When our earthly comforts fail, 

When the woes of life prevail, 

'Tis the time for earnest prayer; 

God is present everywhere.
Then, my soul, in every strait, 

To thy Father come, and wait; 

He will answer every prayer:

God is present everywhere.

Happy New Year

Waking up to cold foggy mornings. Driving to work in fog even though the time is 8:30 in the morning. Seems like even the roads have taken it easy this morning. A mist covers everything. The cats outside look at me, wondering if I will have something hot for them. Alas, I only have refrigerated cat food.

The corridors are still empty as I get to work. Students are on vacation for a fortnight. The library has opened thankfully. I need to get to my TOEFL preparations ASAP.

Am becoming a fan of hot chocolate these days- from Costa Coffee, which has an outlet in the university. It keeps me full and also satisfies my chocolate cravings for a time. Managed to get the submission in for my colleagues’ nomination to the Staff Awards. It was a lot of work but did it.

My daughter asked me for a Bible for Christmas, which was easier to read and with explanations and pictures and cross-references. I got them one each, through Amazon. I think even adults should have one of these to help them get the meanings of the great words in the Holy Book.

We visited the Cheesecake factory over the weekend and my daughter indulged in a Godiva flourless cake, which has become a hot favorite of hers now. Seems like everyone is on to new things. Just like the New Year.

For two days now, Sunshine has been pawing and knocking his head against my daughter’s bedroom, asking her to wake up and play with him- at the unearthly hour of 3 am. So daughter 1, wakes up groggy and sleepy. It takes a while to get her up. Her exams are on the weekend, so she is doing her last minute preparations. Again new beginnings.



Last day of the year reading

Lamentations 3:22-27

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning:

great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion: therefore I will wait for him”.

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;

It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.