Lunch Date

As a follow up to my trip to San Antonio last year, the two ladies I travelled with and I agreed to meet often to share our lives after San Antonio. Unfortunately life being what it is, none of us could make it to a date for three months now.

D, one of the group took things in hand and invited me to lunch yesterday( well in advance of course). So we met up but the other girl M could not attend. She had not been told of the date. Apparently D was so exasperated with each of us making excuses to not meet that she decided to just go ahead and meet with whoever was available and it happened to be me.

We went to a nearby restaurant( only walking distance) and had a good meal. But what happened during the lunch when we talked about our lives really worried me. D is a wonderful girl, very enthusiastic and passionate about her work.

Her supervisor told her that everyone appreciates her enthusiasm but when they go to meetings together, he does not want her to talk as it sometimes was difficult to make out who the supervisor was and who the coordinator was. Can you beat that ? He was insecure because she would take the lead in meetings and discuss about how to proceed with things. The supervisor has only been a year in position but D has been there about 5 years. D is so upset that she hasn’t been with her supervisor for any meeting after January and now she wants to leave the job.

To me this is a blatant case of bullying. I have written about the bullying I faced in my previous job before. Bullying is an awful place to be when you are the victim. Often it is because the victim is better at work than the perpetrator. And it often stems from jealousy, gender based discrimination and misuse of power.

I think D should not leave her job or look for another opening. She should stay put but the job is affecting her health. Last week she had high blood pressure with nose bleeding( at 35).

This is an awful situation to be in.