Conventionally we are supposed to have two seasons- summer and rainy ( monsoon). But I like to think of the months of September and October here as the Fall season, preparatory of the new year to come. The Fall of this year into the depths of the deep. The weather is pleasant and nice, very comfortable.
The last year has seemed like I have nothing to show for it in the worldly way. No job, no income, no family, nothing.
On the spiritual front, I have moved forward a lot.
- I have become strong. Stronger than before. I still cry but I cry with a hymn. I don’t know if that makes sense but when I feel sad, I sing a hymn. My models are Paul and Silas singing hymns in prison.
- I am trying to find out verses that mention praise in the Bible, so that I know how to praise God using God’s word.
- I have put my prayer requests in for the year, and will not look at them to see if they have come to fruition. I know they will. In God’s time.
- I have reconnected with classmates from college and seem to have new friendships building up.
- I pray everyday with my family members over the phone and say a blessing over my children and my husband every day. A big achievement for me as we are a embarrassed family. We feel embarrassed to say out what we need before each other and God. But we are doing it, baby steps. The Fall season has made me want to come and take stock of what we have and what we have given up- what I have given up is worrying and overthinking. Now I know where to take my stuff and which bank account to deposit my rubbishy thoughts in.
Things will change. Change is constant. I am stable, I love it here. I wish my husband were here with me but he is happy where he is and that makes me happy too. Everyone asks me what I do the whole day. To the outside person, it seems I should be bored and not have anything to do. Actually being with God every day in a more meaningful way, keeps me so full and occupied that I often wish I had more hours in the day.