Dear Lord

I am up this morning early. it is a habit to wake up around this time of day now. The sun is still sleeping but the early birds are chirping their sweet song. These bird sounds will not be heard much longer here for summer is fast approaching.

As summer comes closer and the winter/Spring weather recedes to the background, I am left with regrets. Where did the cold weather go ? The natural cold I mean. Our buildings are naturally kept cold through winter and even colder during summer, so there is no want for using winter clothes through the year.

H& M has sales and some discounts on winter clothes. Now is a good time to buy. But like King Solomon, at this moment, I feel – why should I ? What is the point ? I am going to hotter climates when I return home and there will be no need for such warm clothes there. If I move to colder climes for my Master’s program, I will need much warmer clothes than those I have.

My daughter’s mental state worries me, Lord. She talked to me openly yesterday. She said that she thought Medicine was a mistake for her. She wants to take up a creative line- something that involves writing and other means of creating things. She is in to photography now. She does not want to enter the rat race that is Medical practice and get lost or stuck in a rut that is predictable. She wants unpredictability and adventure in her life. She wants to see life.

To me, it reads as though she is lonely and is in want of a good friend. Till the time, she finds that special human friend, I pray that you hold her hand and give her life direction.

I pray that she sees an opportunity for what it is- a window to a new life.

I pray that she does not lose herself in the glitter of life and is grounded throughout her life.

I pray that she finds good friends to help her along the way of life. I pray that she learns to trust and to let go sometimes and that it is ok to cry.

I pray that her life gives her plenty of adventure and excitement but that she stays grounded through it all.

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God is present everywhere- Oliver Holden

Those who seek the throne of grace

Find that throne in every place;

If we live a life of prayer, 

God is present everywhere.
In our sickness and our health, 

In our want, or in our wealth, 

If we look to God in prayer, 

God is present everywhere.
When our earthly comforts fail, 

When the woes of life prevail, 

'Tis the time for earnest prayer; 

God is present everywhere.
Then, my soul, in every strait, 

To thy Father come, and wait; 

He will answer every prayer:

God is present everywhere.

Last day of the year reading

Lamentations 3:22-27

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning:

great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion: therefore I will wait for him”.

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;

It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.

True Nobility- Edgar A. Guest

Who does his task from day to day

And meets whatever comes his way,

Believing God has willed it so,

Has found real greatness here below.

Who guards his post, no matter where

Believing God must need him there,

Although but lowly toil it be ,

Has risen to nobility.

For great and low there’s but one test:

“Tis that each man shall do his best.

Who works with all the strength he can

Shall never die in debt to man.

 

I work in a university as an administrator though I am a trained physician. I have my days when I am saddened by thoughts that I should be elsewhere, doing something else. My classmates are all in good positions around the world. I must be the only research administrator doctor. Those are days of my own inner pity party. When my mother was sick and needed me, I went to be with her, even telling my university to terminate me, if required, as I had no leave of any sort. They refused to terminate me. I came back many weeks later and my job was held for me. I am now working at my desk again and earning money. From this poem, which seems to speak to me today, I need to guard this post, God has given me, believing God needs me here, and though lowly it may be, I will rise to nobility should I do my best and work with all my strength and I will die a happy contented soul, not in debt to man but having run the good race with faithfulness, I can meet my creator.

My 48th Birthday

This must be a frivolous read. June 20. I had a couple of phone calls reminding me that it was my birthday.

For me time had stood still. It was the day after my mother’s double surgery. I was in shock. That it was my birthday didn’t seem real at all. The day was rainy.

My mom was in the  ICU.  My father and I spent the night before in the hospital room where my mom had been the previous night, before the surgery.

Tomorrow( my birthday) we would need to vacate the room. The hospital rule said that if patients were in the ICU, relatives needed to vacate to a lodge or find a guest room or accommodation outside.

Early in the morning we visited my mother in the ICU as soon as the ICU was open to visitors- at around 7 am. She looked so small and emaciated in the blue hospital gown. She gave me a smile and beckoned to me. I went to her side- she asked me to get her her dentures and a comb for her hair.

That was the best birthday gift I had received. My mother was herself again. The long surgery of the previous day did not seem to have dampened her spirits. She was worried about how she looked ! I knew then that she was strong and my birthday was made.

I seemed to have gone through life in reverse. My mother would have rejoiced to see me smile or make a milestone as I was growing up but I had seen my mother smile at me and show me her spirit and it gladdened my heart. I was 48 but my mother’s request for her dentures and a comb sent a thrill through me. I could see she wanted to look her best before the doctors came on rounds. No one would have guessed that she had gone through a grueling 8 hour surgery just the previous day.

She is my mother and I am proud of her.

Birthdays seem to have lost their importance for me and even birthday gifts. To have a dear one near by is one of the best of life’s gifts, even more than one’s own life.