Gratitude

Monday is the day set apart for being grateful. Honestly this morning I am not finding many things to be grateful about but let me try. Let me see what makes me grouchy first this morning.

  1. Grateful for the Air Conditioning in the house for without it and the power supply we would not be able to live in arid conditions. Thank you.
  2. For family that has returned safe after more than a week of busy travel and activity.
  3. For the Thai boys who got rescued last night from the cave and for the remaining 8 boys who are still alive.
  4. For the cool wind that brought cooler weather in some parts of the world and did not bring harm.
  5. Oh, now that I am counting, there seem to be so many. For a friend who is busy at work but still writing and I know she is well somewhere.
  6. For the guts to face up to someone I needed to forgive.
  7. For sleep and hunger that plague me through the day. There are many people who do not feel these basic instincts of life. I am often not grateful for my hunger for food and cravings for crunchy stuff. I am grateful that I seem to have gotten over my sugar cravings.
  8. For a sister who works hard at work and at home with her children and her ill health. She has been looking after my husband and children every time they visited her city over the past two months.
  9. For the woman at the visa counter because she set me off on an alternate path of life, one that I never thought I would be going on this July. For new times and new experiences.
  10. For a spare car that in spite of my car being silent and still in the garage works well and takes me in comfort to work.
  11. For the chapel service that went well last night – that elder daughter sang in the choir for- it was her first experience singing in a choir and for appreciation. For the younger daughter who was kept safe through weeks of travel back and forth to the home country and the church service she attended here yesterday.
  12. For peaceful times at home and the cats outside. For peaceful neighbors who live their lives quietly. For a neighbour girl who put on 5 kilos of weight after a battle with extreme starvation. It made me happy to see her almost like her old self yesterday. I hope she gains her body image back- is that the correct way of putting it ?
  13. For the monthly times for both my girls. I have come to appreciate this with their lives as they have often missed these cycles in their lives but this year, seems to have brought regularity in their rhythms.
  14. For the change in mood from when I started this post, that I don’t want to write what was bothering me at the beginning of this writing.

Thank you for this day and for the challenges this day will bring.

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Slow Sunday

Today is a day for taking it slow. Reading blog posts, writing up comments, is what I have planned. It is also day 4 of the keto diet. As per the book, I get to do four meals of

1-2 cups of veggies + 20-25 gms of proteins

1-2 cups of veggies

1-2 cups of veggies + 20-25 gms of proteins

1-2 cups of veggies

In the morning I woke up feeling cold. Really cold. I was sleeping in an AC room and the weather outside is really hot but I am feeling cold. I think I have the flu- not the viral kind because I am immunised ( in May) but the keto kind.

I was dehydrated of course, having lost a lot of water overnight and not drinking enough to replace lost water. Finally I went downstairs to grab a drink and fill up my water bottle and add some rock salt powder to it. In half an hour, I feel better.

Thursday Thoughts

Its been two weeks since that day.  My shock day for 2018, I am going to call it. Where I pummeled down to the lowest a man can go.

I have stopped thinking over it. Today I met my supervisor who is back from holiday. Meeting her would, I thought, be embarrassing. I was losing sleep over it. I had said all my byes and said, enough and all that and then now I am eating humble pie. Life seems to be about eating humble pie often. It just goes to show where man thinks he/she is and that that position is not at all stable. It is perhaps better not to soar too high, so the fall is not too great. Arrogance – I must have been arrogant or I would not feel like I am eating humble pie, right? Well, it is a lesson, well learned.

Image result for humble pie

The meeting with the supervisor was not too bad. She seems happy to have me back. I am grateful for the money from the job. I am grateful for the freedom of spending again but of course, I wish life had taken a different course. In a way I am glad, I am here, yet, to support my family while they are making changes in their lives but when I get an email from my college- I still call it that, there is a certain wistful thinking, of things that might have been. Maybe older women are not meant to study and are just meant to mind the hearth. I feel like Jo of Little Women when she returned from the boarding house home and found that everything looked the same but nothing satisfied.

Image result for little women

For the past two months( since April), my diet and watching over my weight has all gone for a toss. With daughter 2’s exams looming on the horizon and the family predicting doom about her admissions, it took all of my positive spirits and bucking up to keep things up. Exams done, she did well, she secured admissions to good colleges but the midnight oil that burned during the process and the sleepless nights, the leptin and the increased, never-ending appetite and the eternal hunger pangs and the consolation, albeit temporary from eating food, even icecreams( which I have never even liked since childhood) and sweets( which I haven’t eaten since 2004), all goes to show how much of a toll the constant pushing of my limits was taking on me. I have not been taking care of myself.

Image result for Baskin robbins icecream

I didn’t care anymore. I didn’t. Really, I mean, what is the point of living so long anyway? If I eat well and exercise and look well, what is the point? At some time, I am sure to get some lifestyle disease or some cancer or something else. See my thoughts. There was no rhyme or reason to them- was it the beginning of the empty nest syndrome?

Image result for empty nest syndrome

Anyway, the thing is, this week, I have taken time to read and write and look well- put makeup on. I know makeup makes me look, well, made up and I am someone who loves the natural, no make up look. Still, I did some blackening of my eyes, some color on my face, smoothening up some holes, dental work, and hair care. I have rubbed lotions and oils on my body and put vitamin E cream on my face. This last because there was a tube of this very expensive cream lying on my dresser, I had never used before but must have bought some time in a trance and never used. The day after using the cream, I looked at my face and it looked different. By that time, I had forgotten I had done something to my face the previous night( applying the cream). My face shone like it used to when I was younger. Suddenly it struck me that I had rubbed some of that cream last night on my face. So the second night in a row, I applied some more of it on my face. Today, this morning, I looked at my face, and I notice, my face shining. This cream seems to be working on my menopausal skin.

Image result for vitamin E cream

This seems to be a good time to take care of me. No family, plenty of time, only my cat to take care of. Well, the point of this post – at last.

I am going to do the keto diet- this diet seemingly works for me as I am not very fond of carbohydrates anyway and can eat all I want of fats, what is not to like?

It is a 24 hour fast today- only lemon water, black coffee, tea allowed. This is a detox to get rid of all the sugars in my body.

 

Thriving Tuesday Time

I am reading inspirational books and working on improving myself from within. Realization that one is so down there is a tremendous motivation to do better.

Want to share an inspirational story about a New York artist called Eric Sloane.He painted rural scenes like red barns, haystacks, milk houses with churns, churches, stone walls- all rural scenery. One of his favorite topics for his paintings was the sky. Throughout his life, he studied the colors of the sky, its changes, its clouds…

Image result for Eric Sloane painting

Image result for Eric Sloane painting

Image result for Eric Sloane painting

 

All pictures were taken from Google)

 

 

The words of his parting from this earth are described so beautifully in the book ” The Power of the Plus Factor” by Peale.

” Then there came the day when he laid down his palette and brushes and quietly went home to God leaving behind the beauty he created”.

One of the statements Eric often made and which is engraved on the rock that marks his place of resting is ” God knows I tried.”

I did some research on the internet to know more about Eric Sloane. The name Eric was taken from the middle letters of America. He was also a book writer. ” A Reverence for Wood,” ” Our Vanishing Landscape,” ” Diary of an Early American Boy” are a few of his books.

 

 

Gratitude post

After a week of raging and ranting, I am going to look for positives in my life. I don’t often do a gratitude post as I don’t find much to be grateful about. You know what my personality is from this.

  1. Grateful that I have one devoted husband who loves me despite everything: I have taken him for granted.
  2. Grateful for people in my life- the woman who cleans my desk and stops to say a word- we discover common interests like gardening, craftwork- she gave me one of her creations last week, thinking it was my last week at work.IMG_20180702_054345.jpg

 

The cook who cooks for our family- she was appointed to take care of husband’s food while I was gone but she continues with us as she is a help and I realize how hard I worked to take care of the family over the years and a job. I am grateful.

 

I am grateful for the man who cleans our house- he has been doing this for about 8 years now.  There are many people who I must remember but can’t because I can’t think of them right now.

3. I am grateful for the cats and my cat, who give me a sense that someone wants me and I can still be useful.

4. For my blog friends, many of whom help me through the day because of their grounded posts and their perspectives on life. For the invitation into your lives and the care you provide to many through your writing, I am grateful.

The rabbitpatchdiary

Linda Schaub

Mehrling Muse

The Chicken Grandma

A timeless lady : For the big online hug which showed me that people from far away care.

BC Parkinson

Thecobwebemporium

Gobblefunksite : For caring enough to even make a blog post when I requested. Thank you

Talking to my weightloss counselor

The bespectacled mom

Dream Big

Cupcakeblog : for great conversations and non-judgmental writing and the inspiring posts you write about how to fight adversity in a logical way

5. I am grateful that I now have the time to connect with my inner self. I have a second life now and I am grateful that I am going to make use of it. I am grateful that I can read the Good Word and learn to practise it in my life.

6. I am grateful that my mother in spite of her surgeries and her health issues, is spirited enough for a good argument on any day. I feel happy after a good argument with her, because that gives me the feeling that she still has the spirit in her. 🙂

7. I am grateful for the ability to learn- I seem to be able to learn anything if I put my mind to it. This is a discovery I made after my 40s.

8.  For the fact that my scholarship application was opened even though the deadline passed on June 15- for reviving hope

9. I am grateful for the ability to spend money again, after months of skimping

10. I am grateful that despite my running away, love follows me.

The list can be longer but it shows when I sit and count, there is so much to count that words are not enough to express them.