A sudden return to WordPress

I have been travelling and in and out of quarantine. In the process I lost access to my WordPress account and my google mail. Moving and using different devices is viewed with consternation at all sites, I learnt.

I had some money to be refunded from my tuition and took up this laptop that I used at Yale, today, and on a whim, tried to log in to wordpress. Lo and behold, I got access.

So here I am. I have been well. The quarantines were because of international travel. I lost a few relatives and neighbours during the past few months to COVID. My family is well up until now.

I am back at Kottayam. Not working yet as jobs are few. Grateful for each day.

December , 2010

A reflection from 10 years back. From what I can remember, I was working at the Medical research center at Doha and was told that my grandfather, who was a very important part of my life was sick with a hemorrhage. Born in 1917, he was 93 then. He passed away on December 10,2020. I travelled that night to Kochi airport- my mother had already gone home to her ancestral home and it was just my father and my nephews and niece there.Together we drove to Kozhencherry our ancestral place for my grandfather’s funeral.

December 7, 2020

After my previous blog, I have to say I feel better. My finger is still crooked. Two X-rays and ortho consultations later, they haven’t been able to find the cause of the subluxation of my joint in my right thumb but now we have a name for it- a subluxated inter phalangeal joint.

As to how I became better- the way I usually adopt when I am in trouble- I prayed for healing. I am not sure how it happened but somewhere in the middle of my prayers it stuck me that all my ills had started from the time I moved to Kerala, hot water soothed the pain, cold water aggravated it and apart from my thumb joint almost all my finger bones and joints( I can’t say which) hurt really badly. I also noticed the palpitations I had had in Doha in May had become more frequent- even my fitbit told me my heart rate was too fast on a few occasions. Mid october I was plagued by extreme fatigue and couldn’t get up from the couch in front of the TV where I spent most of my time after my husband went to work. It was a task to get up to get to the kitchen. Domestic chores like cleaning and mopping went to the back burner, never to be done. It was a horrific time.

I researched a bit during my couch days and I finally decided to try various supplements. Someone mentioned on Youtube that trigger finger improved with Vitamin B6- so I ordered some online and started myself on those pills. I forgot to mention the pedal oedema in my feet which has been there on and off for five years. As a thiamine deficiency could cause this, I started myself on Vitamin B1 tablets too. Soon it was the turn of B12 to get added to this family. I had been on various diets for so many years that I would not been surprised if I had a lot of nutritional deficiencies. And there was my PICA- on occasion, I had a chocolate craving and just had to eat all the bars in the house or get cup of hot chocolate. My hair was breaking off from everywhere and I had only a rat tail for a pig tail. Seems like my gum bleeds could be scurvy so vitamin C was added and then iron because I menopausal, and when I have my periods, they went on for two months( surely I was anemic). So in went iron. So far, I was on B6, B1, B12, iron, vitamin C.

Finally I decided I was protein deficient because being Indian I lean towards vegetarian food and do avoid meat and fish when I can. So I started off on collagen powders and this is when the tide actually turned. Concentrating on protein rich foods has helped me a lot. I have no more joint stiffness and the subluxated joint is almost back to normal. I can type again. Best of all, I can sit up and do some domestic chores without getting exhausted. Oh I forgot to mention, that Magnesium was also added to my list of supplements.

So my days now pass with trying to remember what pills I have consumed and what remain. Also focussing on my diet and trying to eat proteins. It has been a crazy few months- from good healthy to total deterioration. Even though I walk through the valley of shadow of death, I will fear no evil- for thou art with me. Thy rod and staff they comfort me.

Writing after a break

Its been two months’.

I have a bent thumb on my right hand that came on in September. I have been in so much pain that I haven’t felt anytime in my life. Days of pain that were unrelenting. Early in September, my husband returned to Doha to get his clearances done. I remember driving to the Kochi airport to drop him at the now derelict airport. There was this special one taking off that day from the airport.

I returned home in two hours ( we live about two hours from the place of the International Airport). I cannot remember how soon after that my pain started. And it happened so slowly that I didn’t realise until the pain caught up with me and I could not light the gas burner. I lost the power of my right thumb. I cannot remember if something cracked on my bones but I am left with a bent thumb now. There is a contracture there.

I thought it was a remnant of the cat bite on my palm from July as the bite was severe enough to have damaged my tendons though the tendons had healed well. It was only last week that when my husband took me to an orthoped cousin that an X-ray that he ordered showed that I have degenerative changes in my thumb joints.

Oh my God ! Degenerative changes? In my head, even 51 birthdays had not convinced me that I was on the other side of the half century. Age had finally caught up and my first reaction was sadness. It never struck me that I could have osteoarthritis. How the proud have fallen! That was how my thoughts went. IT took me more than a week to get rid of my depression. I have always thought that I would remain young for as long as I lived. I needed humility and boy, was I humbled.

And then the pain started in all my fingers, both in my right and left hands. And then pain in my right shoulder started. I could not almost use my entire right hand.

More depression followed. And that’s why I haven’t been writing.

August 19- a trip to Kochi and a sister’s birthday

We drove to our apartment in Kochi hoping it wasn’t in a containment zone and we might not be turned back. Good news, everything seemed normal in Kochi, though it is a hotspot for corona as they say here and things are not so good with the corona statistics- 2333 cases diagnosed yesterday.

My sister turned 49 years old yesterday- of course, we couldn’t visit with her as she is in another state and we could only talk to her. Growing up, since she was only 2 years younger than me, I can remember the squabbles we had all the time. If I had one thing, she wanted it and if she had one thing, I wanted it. She was the one who helped my homemaker mom with the household chores ( though with hiccups and grunts of displeasure), while I got out of them with excuses. I feel sorry for all those times I got out of the chores. She is a senior officer of the Indian Administrative Services but seems that she enjoys doing domestic chores in her slow and steady way even now. She is a mother of three children of ages 21 to 15. She is managing her home now from home and with the help of her family. She is always there for any in the family who need help or a shoulder to cry on. She has grown to be a woman of remarkable faith and a staunch believer. We were born into Christian families but our faith has been renewed because of the toils of life. We realise now that our time on earth is so short and it is a time we need to spend on looking out for those who are not so fortunate as us. My sister calls her domestic help each month and pays her her salary- she does not allow her to come home to do the chores now, because of the corona but her salary goes to her nevertheless- one of the many charitable things she does in her own way to make the world better. I remember the times I pulled her hair growing up but my mom, who I met yesterday says that hair is all grey now. My sister is not a woman for makeup or the fancies of life- she is as simple as they make them. Happy Birthday, my dear sibling.

So we spent the day in our apartment at Kochi yesterday. Nursing a migraine, we managed to clean and dust the house and run all the machines to make sure, none had rusted or forgotten to run. Good news- all of them worked well. Then we went to my parents home and visited with them. One of my father’s sisters passed away on August 18th in Mumbai, so that was a sad time for my father. Sometimes death comes as a welcome relief. I would never have believed it but in this case, we are all happy my aunt has gone to her heavenly home to be with our Lord and her beloved husband, who went before – in February. They had a long and happily married life- maybe 60 years of marriage- unto the end they were together. And in death, they were just six months apart. Rest in peace, auntie.

We reached Kottayam, our home for now, by around 8 pm- the cat and our daughter welcomed us back – we had food packed for her, from a wayside restaurant where we ate. One of the few restaurants that allowed us to dine at the tables inside. The cat sulked for a while, while we made our apologies for leaving him for a day alone but all is well now.

Self invited dinner

My sister in law has her birthday today, and she lives within a kilometer of my house now. We wanted to invite her home to dinner today along with my husband’s parents but it seems all get togethers are off. So we made do with going over to her house, early today with a cake and greeting her just as she was waking up. Corona has changed bed times for people, we sleep in more and wake up later.

We returned home so daughter could attend her online classes, which started at 7:30 am. But soon a call came from my brother in law asking if we could join my inlaws and them for lunch at their home. I asked my daughter if she could spare some time but she had classes and a test to boot, so going over for lunch was out .

I called my brother in law and politely declined. I wish I had left it at that but with my big mouth, I asked if they wanted we could come over for dinner and eat the leftovers. He considered the matter and asked us to come around 7 pm- reflecting over this it seems I managed to self invite myself to dinner. What do you think ?

And my husband is yet to know that I accepted on his behalf too.