The weight is not coming off- my first thoughts when I woke up yesterday( day 3) and stepped on the machine ( a daily morning ritual now, for ever so long). When has my life started revolving around my weight ? I guess when I was about 10. The earliest memory I have is of my father coming home to visit us at my maternal grandparent’s house( it must have been 1979), taking a look at me and saying- ” you have put on weight”. It was not said derogatorily but in my little girl mind, it struck for ever, so much so that I thought I needed to go on a diet like my mum( who was on a perpetual diet, for as long as I could remember, and who would never eat breakfast as part of her diet). I started watching what I ate- of course, I didn’t want to be fat. We had no weighing machine at home, those days. Weight was only assessed on people performing the eyeball test and making remarks. Those were the standards during those days. I cannot remember ever thinking that my clothes did not fit or that I have become too fat.
In grade 9, I remember a co-achiever Ms. P, who used to rile me often that I was the fattest person in class and I believed her assessment of me too. Now I think at 57 kgs and 5 foot 7, I probably was not fat at all. What I would give to be 57 kgs today. It just goes to show that our lives are dominated by what people think of us. The thoughts constantly ran in my head that I was not attractive at all.
It reached such a pass that I stopped caring, which was good in a way, because I started enjoying life after that, but the bad was that I started pushing hurtful emotions to the back burner instead of dealing with them then and there.
Fast forward to now, 34 years later, I hover around 90 kgs, which is at least 22 kgs above the upper limit of weight for my height.
Now for the good news. Day 4, today of my IQS mindful eating program( note, I am not calling it a diet), the scales show that I have lost a kilogramme- 1000gms of avoirdupois off. And believe me, this time, it is going to keep off. I have just about had enough.
So what have I been doing ?
- Taking the stairs ( 3 floors) from the underground car park to the floor 3,where my office is – at least once a day( that is good for me)- am trying to avoid using the elevator.
- Trying to recognize the primitive impulses my body tries to send me each day- name, read real hunger from thirst, tiredness, sleepiness, depression and any other issue for which my escape route was eating mindlessly.
- Breakfast- for 4 days has been a porridge with chia seeds, hemp seeds, a little matcha tea powder – believe me, it fills one up at least till lunch time.
- Water : Drinking a lot of water – about 6 large glasses a day at least; I know this because I do it in the office
- Sleep : Am sleeping well these days, except when the low back pain doesn’t wake me up. Sleeping with the air conditioning on, on a foam mattress is not really good for my back.
- Steps : The frequent trips to the loo are adding to my daily steps.
Folks- its 89 kgs today.
A new habit takes about 6 weeks( 42 days) to set in and establish itself.
July 24 was my watershed day- I have had many more, its true- but the important thing is to get up, dust oneself and start over.
Day 1 : Plan
Go off sugar for 6 weeks- including white sugar, sugar substitutes- honey, agave( never eaten it, one bottle rests in my kitchen- gifted by my sister in law), jams( quite difficult) and a lot of fruits. Probably the only fruits allowed are 😦 2-3 pieces)
- Blueberries and raspberries ( quite expensive here but if one’s got to eat them, one’s got to get them)
- Honeydew melon
- Pear ( with skin)
- Coconut( surprise here- never knew it was a fruit)- Coconut is no-no for me as I used to eat it a lot till I was diagnosed with xanthalessma and high triglycerides/cholesterol
Try to avoid these fruits :
- Watermelon( I can do this, it gives me a migraine)
- Grapes ( sadly, ok, can do it)
- Bananas( ok- well, I will need to break this fast a bit for some banana for a regular bowel movement)
- Mangoes ( of course)
Aim : To control sugar urges for 42 days- starting July 24
End date : September 4th, 2016
Results hoped for : weight loss of 10 kgs ( is that too optimistic ?)
Exercise : Plan to walk 1000 steps a day- week 1 – July 24- July 31
Water intake : high – like 7- 8 bottles a day ( 750 ml bottles)
Looking over my back posts, it seems as if a lot of them are focused on my weight and my trials on how to reach my ideal weight.
I am now at a comfortable 90 kgs- on good days, the scales show 88 and on bad, it can move a little above 90( don’t ask me how much).
After my trip to Birmingham, beginning of July and all the foraging for food( for of course, I needed to go out to get food), the weather not holding up most days, Salisbury’s closing early most days and my hunger pangs coming much much later and the long walks to reach eating places, I actually stood at 88 kgs, when I returned from my trip on the 16th of July. A week later, I am back to 90 kgs- I like to think of it as water weight.
But perhaps it is the many bars of Dairy milk chocolates and the half bar of chocolate that I downed on the sly but I now am 90 kgs, give or take a few kilos.
Am now reading a Chicken soup book which was lying on my shelf for ages – how to shape a new you- and I am inspired to start again.
For someone who has lost again and again in the diet battle, the only diet that seemed to work for me was the IQS diet and I am going back, difficult as it is, to IQS.
I am 47 and completely sedentary, so I need to up my movements some.
It is a good day to start today, the beginning of the week and am now starting on the IQS diet. I need to go to their website and read things once again to see if there have been any changes over two years.
Wish me luck !! ( once again)
It is the weekend. Around 4 pm today, I wasn’t hungry; perhaps a wee bit thirsty. Lunch was still working its way around my insides. But suddenly pictures of the chocolate box sitting in my fridge, float in front of my eyes. Tried telling myself, I am not hungry- let’s not do it- if I start one, I will need to go to the next and then the next and so on, till about 6 bars of that delicious Dairy Milk ( Cadbury’s- bought from the original Cadbury’s factory in Bournville) would be inside me and no one would be any the wiser. So I was going along like a really nice person, everything in control, when I thought of the red, dark chocolate bars my husband had bought for himself from Cadbury’s- perhaps, eating dark chocolate would help take my mind off the Dairy Milk, which should logically be the sweeter one, right ?
So, true to form, I walked to the fridge and took out the packet in which I found a broken 3*4 piece of chocolate, already broken off. I tried breaking it but it was too strong for me and so between the chocolate and my temptation, I ended up taking the whole piece of 3*4 with me while I watched TV and all of it landed in my tummy. To top it all, I went back and broke off another 1*4 piece off the bar and polished off.
Relaxing in my couch, watching TV with no qualms whatsoever, in fact feeling quite good that I hadn’t given in to the Dairy Milk, I was reminded of my follies when hubby dearest asked me who had eaten almost half of his dark chocolate bar. That’s when I realised where my gluttony would land me.
Any suggestions on how I can prevent the chocolate from showing itself off on my tummy line ?
‘I’m working off Saturday’s sundae.’